Hey lovelies, I hope you are well;
I am on the back end of my week off and feeling proud of what I have accomplished catching up with friends and completely redecorating my living room. I have been in a pretty good head space recently but today I wanted to chat about something that seems to be a constant within my life and that is others expectations.
*warning this post discusses topics that others may find upsetting*
So time and time again I hear the same similar comments from various different people in my life. “wait till you have kids” or “you have to much spare time on your hands you should have a child, then you’ll see” or just to the point with “when are you going to have a child?” Usually I just politely nod along maybe give awkward laugh but inside I want to give a very unsubtle eye roll and walk out.
I know that it is never meant in a negative way, these are conversations that happen with friends and colleagues, who I love and respect; and I think a lot of the time conversations like this happen when you have a close bond with people. A random stranger would say it to you in the street (or at least I hope they wouldn’t).
Yes I am twenty eight; and yes I do not yet have children. That doesn’t make me any less of an adult or a woman for that matter. And yet when these comments are made that is sometimes how it can make you feel. It can make you feel like you are less of a person and that really shouldn’t be the case! Me being a woman is defined solely by my ability to have a child.
You never know the circumstances of others, whether they may have difficulties conceiving, it’s not the right time, they just don’t want to have children or whatever else it might be. They are all valued and valid reasons. My reasons I am not yet ready to discuss on here, and that is purely because it is for Michael and I and nobody else to think about.
I’m not really sure what spurred me on to write this blog post but I guess it has been somewhat cathartic getting my rambling thoughts down on to metaphorical paper. And if my blog isn’t the place to do that then what really is the point in it.
I figured I am just going too end this post by saying, be kind, be thoughtful. And if you think you might find yourself saying one of the phrases mentioned or one similar. . . think. . . is it of any benefit, might it have negative connotations to someone else in the room. If so stop, and trust me you may be making that persons day just that little less crappy.
Sorry again for this ramble mess of a post.